Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Welcome a New Year: 2013

HOLY SMOKES! It has been almost a year since my last post on this.  I guess i didn't anticipate life would be so extremely busy with two little ones, the hubby, work, friends and family.  It is amazing how much your life changes once you get married and decide to have lil ones.  Its truly amazing and most of the time trial by fire.  I have learned so much about who I am and who I want to be in the past 5 years.  So much so that I am super reflective now that it is a NEW year again.  Some are good, some are quirks or some think faults of mine but... its me, now.

I used to be a perfectionist.  I mean everything would have a place or order.  My idea of perfection has changed dramatically now!  Back in the day, I would clean the house every Saturday, go shopping every Sunday  and try my hand at cooking dinners at night.  I was so bad that i wouldn't let anyone step on my freshly vacuumed carpet!  BOY how this has changed.  Now, I very rarely clean one day out of the week.  I have made it so that I clean as i go during the week (bath time is clean the bathroom time, etc)  Saturdays I do a morning quick clean.  How do y'all get your cleaning done??

I used to be very self centered.  It was all about me.  Now, my kids take center stage, all the time.  I have gotten over the guilt of having to ship my kids off to daycare (sort of).  I know that they do well there and  I trust the staff.  I do know that I put them first NO MATTER WHAT.  Once I get them home from school, i do my best to give them my undivided attention.  I am only with them 3.5 or so hours a day on school days.  Get down on their level and play.  That is my number one priority. Let them know that I am there for them. Double edge sword though, right?  I do this so much so that the hubs gets frustrated.  Understandably but its that whole balance thing.  Still something I need to work on.

I was an extremely judgmental person.  I have learned that I cannot judge others situation, as you are not in the situation yourself.  You know the saying, "walk a mile in somebody's shoes..." I learned this lesson a couple of different ways.  I was always saying I would do things differently if I were in a certain situation.  Then when really presented with the situation I would go with my gut many times it is what that same person I judged did.... now I keep a more open mind with others.

OK there are a couple of mine....Are any of you reflecting this time of year?  Maybe of who you were and who you are today??

Happy 2013 Everyone!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Baby Love - Teachable Lessons

My Babies...
So, due date was January 10, 2012, and baby girl just could not wait.  She was anxious to come into the world.  December 29, 2011, Briella Marie was born.  Water broke the night before but I went to sleep for the rest of the night and then at 5am called my mother in law to the house to watch Jake while Hubby and I went to the hospital.  She was born @ 1pm.  She is all smiles and has a great disposition about her.  Something i hope she keeps as she gets older.  What an amazing addition to our little family.

Since that day we have been adjusting to life as a family of 4.  Jake has been amazing with her.   He is such an amazing big brother.  I was so worried and sometimes still worry that he will feel left out.  He has been my only child for the past 3 years... the only one i would spend my time with (besides hubby) and now i have to split my time between the 2 of them.  I have always, from the start asked him to help me with her, putting together her room, grabbing her towel for tubby time, or holding the garbage can open while i throw her poopie diaper in (he loves this job, lol).  At the hospital, I made sure I had a pic of him in the delivery room and when he came to meet her for the first time, i had a bag of small gifts from Bri to Jake. I think it made him feel like he was a part of it and that she wasn't invading his territory but she was here to share it with him.  I just hope that he understands as he gets older that I love both of them with all my heart and soul and want them to always remain close.  He needs to protect her... always be her rock when she needs it.  Give her space to grow but always teach her what he has learned as the older brother.  I'm sure they will be close and its too soon now for me to see it but it just gets me thinking about the things i want my kids to learn as they grow up.  What i want to teach them... here are a few...

I always want them to recognize that family is extremely important.  Always remember that you will always have your family, no matter what.

I want them to always look at life as a journey, enjoy it for its ups and downs and learn from your mistakes because you will make them.  Its normal and natural to live and learn.

You can do anything you put your mind to.  My dad always told me this one and i ALWAYS rolled my eyes but it is true, if you work hard enough, you can accomplish your dreams.  Reach for the stars!

Make sure you treat others the way you want to be treated.  SO true although, growing up i didnt follow this one, i want my kids to make sure that they think about their actions before the act and be kind to others.  Everyone has their own story, struggles, etc.

Live in the moment, but have your eye on future goals.  Sounds tough to do but always

Money cannot buy happiness, nor does it grow on trees.  Mom and Dad work very hard to give you the life they want you to have but by no means does it allow us to buy our happiness.  There are much bigger things out there to make us happy.

I think this is a living list.  As i grow and go through life i will be able to add to this and teach my kids the lessons that i learned going through this crazy thing called life.

I ask you: What do you hope your children will learn from you?  What will you strive to teach your kids?

Please comment.

I'm BACK! Final Renovation Pics

Ok, its been a while since I have written and rightfully so, I have had a new baby and finished the renovations on the house.  Phew... we made it.. and now we can relax and enjoy our beautiful family. Below are some updated pics of the raised ranch reno's we did.  I will update some more pic of the bathroom and the large closet next. So...I wanted hardwood floors but my hubby said it wasn't practical with the dog, etc.  I hate to admit it but he was right came out really nice and it is extremely cozy.

The Tile and Stove

Cozy sitting area downstairs
Jakes Playroom (used to be screened in porch)

Babys room (used to be half of our master bedroom)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Balancing Life and well, Life...

So reno's are underway at my house and it cannot be completed soon enough.  I feel SO unprepared for baby its nuts!!  I have been pulling stuff out of storage each weekend and cleaning things off that i saved from Lil Man.  Just want the house and room set.  <insert eye roll>

Anyhoo, while that is going on, I have been contemplating how to articulate a struggle I have been having/trying to overcome over the past few months.  Balance.  Balance between life and well, life.  It sounds funky but really.  Its not a work/life balance so much, as I do my job and go home, but its more of a being the best mom and wife (and other roles) that I can be.  I know you probabaly think, that me wanting to be the best is my first problem.  Well, I have always tried to do things to the best of my ability becuase otherwise, why do them?  I'm not trying to be supermom or superwife by any means. (I gave in to that about 1 year and a half ago... Hahaha...)  I just want to be able to give both J and J what they need from me on a daily basis.  Sounds easy right?

Lil man is beginning to become a bit more independent at 3.5 years old.  He is able to get himself dressed, and can play for a short time by himself, etc.  I want him to be independent so when I see this I give him his space.  All that is amazing to watch, however, after work, I get home or pick him up and I just want to spend as much time with him and learn how he grew that day.  I want to play outside, or draw and talk with him.  I want to be present with him as much as I can.  Call it a bit of guilt for not being with him all day but either way, I don't want to miss a thing in his development or his ever changing persona.  We have fun.  I look forward to that time each day!! Now remember he is an active 3.5 year old boy with a lot of energy.  This together time lasts from 5:20 when I get home to about 9pm and beyond. 

We have also gotten into a terrible habit of me sleeping with him.  Yes, I know.  This is a BIG first time parent mistake that I don't know how I am going to fix.  It started with me just snuggling but when i got preggers and couldn't keep my eyes open past 8:30 I just passed out with him and now, if I am home, I am sleeping with him. Part of me says, it wont last forever, but the other part of me wants that time at night to myself OR to be with hubby.  I have to break this cycle before January when Baby Girl comes or its going to get ugly.  Suggestions welcome (encouraged).  We tried a couple techniques to end this like a treasure box and me pretending to go to store... all unsuccessful

Phew, ok, so all of this with Lil Man is great stuff.  I love spending time with him and snuggling, although it has its not so great side too.  NO time, and I mean NO time with hubby or for myself.  I love my husband to the moon and back and have no idea where I would be without him.  He is my rock.  I just feel like lately, I have not been able to BALANCE my time to give him the attention (or just have a conversation) he (we)need because of the time I want to spend with Lil Man.  I know hubby is not feeling the love and it kills me.  I need to be stronger than I am and set those boundaries and rules with Lil Man so my relationship with Hubby doesn't go down the tubes.  He has been extremely patient with me over the past few months.  So much so that I am getting nervous that maybe he is just thinking differently.

Then there is me time, this is not time I really NEED so to speak but the Dr says I should have it.  I get done what I need to get done (or so I think, hubby thinks differently).  I should have time to do yoga or go for a walk, catch up with old friends, or something... Hubby gives me nap time on the weekend to go out but I feel like I should use that time to be with him or napping.

How do I balance my time so that I can give to both equally.  Also, is it nuts that I feel I have to give separately??  AND together? 

Am I even making sense?? Is anyone out there??  Trying to come up with a solution or compromise here that will please all parties... Is it possible??


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Pregger Crazies and Raised Ranch Remodels

Ok, so it has been ages since I have written.  I have had a case of the pregger crazies.  Not sure if any of you ladies have experienced this but it is an intense feeling of anxiety of not feeling ready.  So as I mentioned we do not have the room currently in our home to welcome another bundle of joy.  SO we, my hubby, Lil man and I have had to do some serious organization and re-organization of our lives and space we live it in.  What exactly do I mean?  Well where to begin...

Our Humble Abode
Not sure if you remember, we had our home on the market for a year but our timing was right in line with the housing crash so now we are going to make the best of the situation and with what we have. We are extremely lucky to have a handy family member that handles crazy well.  My father in law (FIL) has taken on the task of working to make our home a place that works.  Keep in mind we have a Raised Ranch style home that's about 1500 sq ft. Not much wiggle room...

Master bedroom before
When we moved in, we made the three bedrooms into two (a large master, pictured on side & a spare, which is now my sons). We have since added an additional bedroom to the bottom level to the house so that we had a bedroom for guests when they came (and hey, its easier to try to sell a three bedroom than a two).  It was what worked for us at the time.  Now with our quickly approaching due date, we are working to create a bedroom for Baby Girl.  How you ask????  We are giving up our roomy master bedroom with large closet and dividing it into two rooms.  One for my hubby and I and one for Baby Girl. Yes, no closet in our bedroom. 

Master bdroom before
What are you going to do with all of your stuff you ask???? Well, we had to get creative with this. We had a coming to Jesus actually, realizing that we are NEVER, ever going to workout in our home and took the wasted space of our "workout" room and converted it into a huge walk in closet (Picture to follow).  Phew, worked that one out.  FIL is working on that as we speak so it can be done and I work on getting what we need for Baby Girl because that should have started long ago. LOL. 

Workout Room Before

Next plan?  A playroom located downstairs, closing in my fav of all time screened in porch.  This will allow the kids a space of their own to play and be while not overwhelmnig the rest of the house with toys and arts and crafts as it is now.  FIL will work on that when bedrooms are complete. Pictures to follow on this one... 

Monday, August 29, 2011

Were Expecting!!

It has taken me a long time (5 months) to write this post and announce this to the world.  My family and I are expecting our second child!! January 10th, 2012 is our estimated due date :))  Not only that, but we are expecting a baby GIRL!! Yes, I could not wait to find out!  I am too Type A and need to plan out the rest of my preggers time.  A girl!! Unbelievable.  I am so excited!  I love my son and he has been a blessing and a half and I wouldn't change anything about having him.  I have always wanted a girl!  So fun to dress up and the PINK :)) i know, many are haters of pink but i am pumped to use it.  OK, breathe, Kim. 

So let me rewind a bit.  I was nervous about getting preggers again because we had some complications with a pregnancy last year (lost baby) and could not go through that again.  I kept this pregnancy a secret till about week 16-17 from EVERYONE! I mean everyone, even my family.  The prescreen tests and ultrasound all had to come out within normal limits for me to feel comfortable.  It was not until the last ultrasound at 20 weeks until I could see the baby and that they could measure all of the parts to see if everything "looked" good until I could actually let myself emotionally accept this pregnancy.  Well I am ecstatic to say that all looks good and i can now accept and embrace what is happening.

Ahhh.... ok, now the crazy planning lady is coming out... The house, we have no room. How to make room for baby?  We need to renovate!  Damn Raised Ranch!  To work, or not to work? How expensive is daycare? Can I have someone else watch my baby?  Can we afford it??  How to prepare Jake for sibling?  What do we name her??  How do i agree with the hubby on a name??

OH the questions and planning that comes along with Baby #2!

So exciting!


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Marriage Poem ~ Found Online

Ok, so in reading about Brooke Burke's secret wedding in St. Barts she posted a poem.  Its a pretty popular poem but really speaks to what marriage should really be... Enjoy!

The Art Of A Good Marriage

Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end
with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

Love you J!!