Pregger Crazies and Raised Ranch Remodels

Ok, so it has been ages since I have written.  I have had a case of the pregger crazies.  Not sure if any of you ladies have experienced this but it is an intense feeling of anxiety of not feeling ready.  So as I mentioned we do not have the room currently in our home to welcome another bundle of joy.  SO we, my hubby, Lil man and I have had to do some serious organization and re-organization of our lives and space we live it in.  What exactly do I mean?  Well where to begin...

Our Humble Abode

Not sure if you remember, we had our home on the market for a year but our timing was right in line with the housing crash so now we are going to make the best of the situation and with what we have. We are extremely lucky to have a handy family member that handles crazy well.  My father in law (FIL) has taken on the task of working to make our home a place that works.  Keep in mind we have a Raised Ranch style home that's about 1500 sq ft. Not much wiggle room...

 



Master bedroom before

When we moved in, we made the three bedrooms into two (a large master, pictured on side & a spare, which is now my sons). We have since added an additional bedroom to the bottom level to the house so that we had a bedroom for guests when they came (and hey, its easier to try to sell a three bedroom than a two).  It was what worked for us at the time.  Now with our quickly approaching due date, we are working to create a bedroom for Baby Girl.  How you ask????  We are giving up our roomy master bedroom with large closet and dividing it into two rooms.  One for my hubby and I and one for Baby Girl. Yes, no closet in our bedroom. 

Master bdroom before

What are you going to do with all of your stuff you ask???? Well, we had to get creative with this. We had a coming to Jesus actually, realizing that we are NEVER, ever going to workout in our home and took the wasted space of our "workout" room and converted it into a huge walk in closet (Picture to follow).  Phew, worked that one out.  FIL is working on that as we speak so it can be done and I work on getting what we need for Baby Girl because that should have started long ago. LOL. 

 



Workout Room Before



Next plan?  A playroom located downstairs, closing in my fav of all time screened in porch.  This will allow the kids a space of their own to play and be while not overwhelmnig the rest of the house with toys and arts and crafts as it is now.  FIL will work on that when bedrooms are complete. Pictures to follow on this one... 

Were Expecting!!

It has taken me a long time (5 months) to write this post and announce this to the world.  My family and I are expecting our second child!! January 10th, 2012 is our estimated due date :))  Not only that, but we are expecting a baby GIRL!! Yes, I could not wait to find out!  I am too Type A and need to plan out the rest of my preggers time.  A girl!! Unbelievable.  I am so excited!  I love my son and he has been a blessing and a half and I wouldn't change anything about having him.  I have always wanted a girl!  So fun to dress up and the PINK :)) i know, many are haters of pink but i am pumped to use it.  OK, breathe, Kim. 

So let me rewind a bit.  I was nervous about getting preggers again because we had some complications with a pregnancy last year (lost baby) and could not go through that again.  I kept this pregnancy a secret till about week 16-17 from EVERYONE! I mean everyone, even my family.  The prescreen tests and ultrasound all had to come out within normal limits for me to feel comfortable.  It was not until the last ultrasound at 20 weeks until I could see the baby and that they could measure all of the parts to see if everything "looked" good until I could actually let myself emotionally accept this pregnancy.  Well I am ecstatic to say that all looks good and i can now accept and embrace what is happening.

Ahhh.... ok, now the crazy planning lady is coming out... The house, we have no room. How to make room for baby?  We need to renovate!  Damn Raised Ranch!  To work, or not to work? How expensive is daycare? Can I have someone else watch my baby?  Can we afford it??  How to prepare Jake for sibling?  What do we name her??  How do i agree with the hubby on a name??

OH the questions and planning that comes along with Baby #2!

So exciting!

~Kim

Instilling Values and Beliefs in Kids

There are so many important things we want to teach our children.  How do we monitor what we are doing to make sure we are setting the right example, or handing situations in such a way that fosters these beliefs, and values in our children?  It is so hard to gauge.  You know, there are two sides to every story.  How do I know that the side of the story or the value I am working on instilling is really sinking in or that he is interpreting the situation the same way??  They say to be consistent in your actions.  I try I really do but some times different actions call for different reactions.  I know, I am probably over thinking this a bit but, that is what I do.  I want to be a good parent as I'm sure many moms/dads do.  Again, a written manual to this thing called parenthood would be helpful.

~Kim

How do you Cope?

By no means am I an expert at dealing with the curve balls that life throws at you but I was talking with a couple friends about this and it got me to thinking.

Many of my friends, working and non working, will relax with a glass of wine, or some of them smoke.  I often see Facebook posts of women frustrated/exhausted with all of the things going on in their world and I wonder what it is that gets them past their frustrations. How do they cope?  Is it with wine, knitting, gardening, writing, verbal diarrhea to a friend, sex?  Its easy to get through life if you have good healthy coping mechanisms. It also helps if those same mechanisms stick around all your life.

I am Irish and have always shut down verbally (unless forced :)) when things are not going my way.  It is difficult for me to discuss things.  So to "cope" with this personality flaw, I have always coped with wine and writing out problems.  If things get out of control and I just need to escape and relax I go and grab a glass of wine and sit with a journal or piece of paper.  Now not in a raging alcoholic kinda way at all... just as a way to stop, sit and relax, escape or think about the situations at hand.  It a way it helps me regroup. 

What are some of the things you do when things get tough or do not go your way??  How do you cope?

Full Time Mom and Employee

Yup that is me.  On Full Time.

How do I do it??

Well I just do.

I take it day by day and really just live.  I wanted to get this off my chest so thanks for listening:

ON FULL TIME :)

My house is a mess but livable

I have dishes in the sink (that drives my hubby crazy)

I never make my bed

There are piles of clean laundry on the floor in my room (also drives hubby crazy)

Kids toys are thrown about my house

My fridge is full but not with what we need for a well balanced meal each night

I pass out as soon as I put my son to bed


BUT

I have a close family & friends that I love very much

An amazing son who I would do anything for

A Loving supportive hubby that is always there for us

I have a job

I am on time for said job (most days)

I rush to pick my son up at preschool 5pm each day (even though its 1/2 hr away)

Cant think of more...

Perfectly Imperfect.

SuperMom to the rescue!!

OK.  I am on the hunt.... I need your help.

I am having a Superhero themed birthday party for my son's 3rd b-day and have been researching this for about a month now.  I am set on invitations, decorations, food, and venue.  I have one thing left.  I would have never imagined how hard it would be to find these things.  It looks like i might have to put on my Martha Stewart hat and make the damn things myself.  God willing!

Can you guess what I have been searching for obsessively??

Capes!  Superhero capes for kids that do not cost an arm and a leg to order.

I have been to Esty, and all sites Google provided but I cannot justify paying $55 for 8 capes!!  $10 a cape!?!? Come on people... Don't kids play superhero all the time. Shouldn't moms be able to find a cape for their little boy (or party of 15 kids) :)

Well if you have any ideas I am desperate.  I do not want to subject my hubby to the craziness that will ensue if I have to make these things.

HELP!

Parenting a Job?? Who would'a thunk it??

A child is born.  It is an amazing experience. You want to love, shelter and raise that child with everything you can possibly give them.  Shelter them from the craziness that this world has going on.  Grow with them. Learn from them.  Teach them to be the best person they can be.  That is where the "job" part of motherhood comes in.  When you think motherhood when you are not a mom yet, or never plan to be, you think of a loving, supportive, caring, selfless, always there for you, kind of person.  You never think of the behind the scenes struggle that that person may have inside of them with the preforming of the duties of motherhood.

As parents we are supposed to teach our children the ways of the world.  When I was reading around the Internet for some of the so called "duties" of motherhood some things came up like, building self esteem, teaching healthy eating habits, behavior management, responsibility, etc.  I totally agree with a lot of these things and would add some of my own in there too.  What I did not find was the "how to" guide making these things happen for your children, successfully.

Being a mom or a parent involves a great deal of self surrender, you need to overcome your self-centeredness and put your child first.  Teaching your children these core values is no easy feat.  Much of those feelings to providing and sheltering feelings need to be suppressed and tough Super Mom needs to come out.  I am not used to this role yet.  Many say you need to hunker down and stand your ground.  You are the adult.  You need to tell them what is right and wrong.  You need to make your kid independent. Blah, blah, everyone has an opinion right??  Well right now I have to jump in this role, whether i like it or am used to it or not.

Here is the deal: 
My son, sleeps great in his crib until about December 2010, he begins to climb out of crib, my hubby and i get him a "big boy" bed for his room.  Big Boy (only 2 3/4 years old) helps me set up the bed and put all his fav animals on it, woody and buzz wall stickers.  We are pumped to move into this new bed.  Right? 

Well working full time leaves me to have Big Boy watched by a number of people during the week (school, Dad, father in law).  Naps for everyone else are a breeze, he goes into his bed or cot, at school, and goes to sleep.  Bedtime, when Mom isn't home, super!  Big Boy goes to bed no problem.  Mom is home... bedtime is well a needy time for Big Boy.  "Mom, I need you in my Big boy bed with me." Crushes my little heart.  I say, "Sure baby. No problem." Thinking i will get up when he falls asleep.  What happens??  He AND I both fall asleep for the night.  Many times i get up and go in with Dad but... I'm pooped by the end of the day.

SO any mention of this arrangement or situation to friends, family, whoever all say BAD MOVE momma.  You are not teaching your kid Independence.  He will never let you leave his side.  Doesn't this hurt you and Dads relationship.  Truth?  Its been about 3 months of me sleeping (or falling asleep) with Big Boy and I wouldn't change a thing, however, Dad is getting pissed and apparently I'm doing Big Boy a disservice.

I need to cut it off.  Let him scream and cry for hours until he falls asleep without Momma.  Breaks my heart.  It is for his own good. He "needs" to be able to sleep by himself, and he can with EVERYONE else, just not Mom.  After bed time is a special time for my hubby and I as well as me to just relax and decompress.  Here is where the "How to" guide would be really helpful

How do I make Big Boy understand at 2 (almost 3 years old) that he needs to sleep by himself.  It should be easy right??  I am the Momma and that is what is best for him.  I don't have a good reason.  It is just what i say.  He can scream and kick and yell and be extremely sad, mad and angry at me.  but what I say goes. 

I think??  Right?? Ughhhhhh.....

Judging -- Is it human nature??

Latley I have been feeling the pressure of others passing judgement on my parenting and my child.  Could it all be in my head?  Maybe but I doubt it.  My boy is a good boy, active, caring, funny, never meaning to do harm.  He is almost 3!  The craziness of the world hasnt effeted him yet.  He is still pure so to speak.

If you know me you know my first instinct is to haul off and punch these "judgers" but then I think back to the days before I had my child.  I judged others parenting - I worked in a day care center for the love of the lord.  I was constantly with children and taking their actions as a reflection of their parents wrong doing.  Now here I sit, with a great little almost 3 year old experiencing people doing this to me - openly to boot!  Karma is a bitch I guess. I know there is a lesson in here somewhere.  :)

Ok, here it is:  I now know that I need to NOT do this to others because I do not live in their life on a day to day basis.  I am not walking that mile in their shoes.  When we first have our children we get it in our head that we are going to be the best damn parents to our kids.  They are going to grow up honest, helpful, disciplined, good kids. Right?? Sounds easy enough. 

Wrong.  This is no joke.  Parenting is an everyday learning experience.  If you are a parent already, you should know this.  I am not blessed with all of the answers. I do what I feel is best in that moment.  I do make mistakes.  Taking it one day at a time to make sure that we (my hubby and I) are making the right decisions for our family and our son.  Everyday we wake up and are faced with so many different decisions and our kids emulate what we do.  They learn from us.  We are their role models. 

I challenge you to this.  The next time you are out somewhere, at a family party, on vacation, at the grocery store, anywhere, try NOT to be a "judger".  Understand that those parents or people are just doing their best in their everyday life.  They could be parents or that grumpy lady behind the registers.  Walk a mile in their shoes.

DONT JUDGE - Karma is a bitch.

Having and Setting the Right Expectations about Starting a Family

http://www.ted.com/talks/rufus_griscom_alisa_volkman_let_s_talk_parenting_taboos.html

This video was sent to me from a great friend.  Take a listen to the taboo's and unknown truths that many new parents face after their first child. 

So true.  Did you experience some of these things and did you talk about them with other parents?? 

~Kim

Christmas Showdown

Does anyone else feel as if they are in a competition with their significant other when it comes to getting gifts for each other.  Who can get the biggest and best gift for each other??  I worked hard this year with the budget given by said hubby to get him items I thought he would really like.  Now all of the guys at work are like, "ohhh you should get him a recliner, or a great pair of socks, or..." Its tough... it is the thought that counts right??  I think one big (expensive) gift and a couple of other things are good for xmas.  No need to go all nuts on each other. 

What do you think??  Do you and your partner get this way about Christmas (holiday) gifts?? 

~Kim

Mom Stereotypes

There are so many different kinds of Moms out there.... they worried Mom, the overprotective Mom, the all about family Mom, the motherhood comes easy to me Mom, the carefree, let the kiddos do whatever they want Mom, and so on.  Its amazingly interesting to see what kind of Mom your friends become. I have each of these kinds of mom friends (granted i don't have a lot of mom friends yet). 

It makes me think... what is the type of mom-dom do I portray to others?? The frazzled Mom??  The Overprotective Mom??  The Crazy Mom??   I mean, I look around at my friends and how they interact with their kids and then look at myself as being kind of a mis-mash of all of these types of Moms.  It kind of depends on the day.  I do find myself wanting a mom friend just like me but... at the same time I love all of my different mom type friends.  They keep me sane. 

Who is to say that stereotyping of moms is an OK thing to do??

I guess its a natural thing as we tend to stereotype a number of different things. Right??

Do any of you ever put your mom friends or yourself into a mom type category??  Are all of your mom friends the same type of mom that you are??  Or do you much rather have mom friends of all types to keep you level headed??

Let me know your thoughts!!

~Kim

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back... Christmas Tree Set Up

In true holiday fashion, every year I drag my hubby and my in-laws to the local fire department to pick out the BEST Christmas tree that they have. I normally take about 45 minutes to an hour checking out their inventory. This year I recruited the firefighters to follow me around the lot pulling out each tree, spinning it and putting it back. My spec's for a tree are quite intense. The tree must be triangular, full, about 6.5 ft in height and have NO holes or sharp needles. You would think that it would be easy to find but no ma'am.  I need the BEST tree for our family. I'm sure you all go through this every year, right? ;)

This year, after about 35 minutes of searching, the firefighter pulled out this one tree, it was perfect in shape, fullness and height! It was our tree. I couldn't believe it, and in record time too!  I knew because, the white light came from behind the tree and "Santa Claus is coming to Town" started playing.

Dramatic, I know, but it feels good to get what i want. :))

"Ill take it," I said.

"Really? This is the one?" the guy asked me in disbelief.

"Yes, that is our tree!!"

With a sigh of relief, he cut the end off and we were off!

Now comes the set up.... LOL... this is where it gets good. We have a great stand, it has an area that fills with water to weigh the tree stand down.  So we begin to fill it up and pour more and more water in there.  We put the tree in and turn the 4 prongs to get the tree to stand upright.  My father in-law was holding the tree and my hubby turning and turning away.  Ok, the time comes for father in-law to let go, TIMBER!  The tree fall over.  It wouldn't stand up.  Come to find out, despite the gorgeous shape, etc of the tree the trunk looks like a snake making it fall over every which way we situate it in the stand. LOL. What comes next??

Well my Father in-law goes to driveway to get some gravel, yup gravel, in my house, to dump in the stand to hold the tree up.  Ok, fine whatever it takes... even though he is dumping gravel all over my floor.  Take two of the holding and turning the prongs...Did it work?? NO! Oh my, what are we going to do?? 

Long story short, we ended up having to hang the the mama jamma tree from the CEILING!  The Ceiling!! I have never heard of this before, Mr. Tree left us with no choice. After an hour of trying to stand our "perfect" tree up, we ended up hanging it from the ceiling. Unbelievable.

Next came the lighting of the tree.  Did you know that not all LED lights are created equal??  Nope.  Each lights a different color and shade.  I found this out after systematically placing the LED lights that I had from last year on the tree.  My 2 year old, my hubby and I counting down to plug in the lights to see the beauty that was our tree...

3, 2, 1...Ahhhhh.... all different colors!!

I simply couldn't keep it as it.... I had to unwrap all the systematically placed lights, run to Kmart and get different lights, re-wrap the tree, count down to plug in again and what.... they were all different colors again... OMG, by this point I was ready to scream.  Of course, my hubby was reminding me that none of this would happen if we had an artificial tree.  All I wanted was a perfect xmas tree and to have my family take part in the fun of putting it all together.

I felt like Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation...

I needed a break.  Came back to this project later on that evening by myself with a glass of wine to sooth the nerves.  I had found another box of mini lights in the basement that matched some of the other lights I had around the house.  I wrapped the tree by myself and waiting for the fam to do the ornaments.  It came out as beautiful as I had expecting in the beginning. 

HARD WORK but it paid off.

Do any of you make a production out of getting and decorating your tree??  OR have you had a hell of a time getting the tree just the way you wanted it??  or am I just to OCD??

~Kim

Everyone’s career has that one defining moment

Everyone’s career has that one defining moment.  Well that moment has not hit me yet. Quarterly meeting in which I get noticed for 3 years of dedicated service, the CEO does have one good thing to say about me.  “And here is Kim, three years…” crickets… ugh… makes me want to scream because not only am I here doing the best that I can in the role given, but I am away from my lil one.  I should have been recognized for ONE friggen thing that was memorable during my time here… Have you had that one defining moment in your career yet?

Airport Horror - Crazed and Confused

First, Picture a crazy woman running through the airport with a car seat strapped on her back, a stroller full of bags, and a wild toddler running around away from her while she waits for her flight.  Next, visualize a flight in the middle of the day, and all you want to do is sleep but there is some wild child behind you screaming at the top of his lungs kicking the back of the seat.  Well, these were just two scenarios of our adventure to and from Florida this past week.  The trip was amazing and totally worth the oodles of stress that came from trying to get to and from there but I thought I would share.

As a mom, I know that flying will not be as enjoyable as it once was and I mentally prepare for flying with a 2 year old months in advance.  So when that day finally comes I can act in control and composed.  I check out the many flying with kids websites to make sure I have everything I need.  Sounds like a good strategy, right?  Well, not so much. 

The day came and went and I was neither in control or composed.  My son was running wildly through the airport before the flight and I was running, yes running, after him for about 1.5 hours.  My initial thought was, great, this will wear him out for the flight and he isn't hurting anyone or getting hurt, so go for it! Oh no... He was not tired.  He was hopped up on something the entire flight.  What did I do??  I whipped out my bag of tricks asap to try to engage him in something quiet.  I did have a HUGE bag full of stuff.  He wasn't having it.  He was kicking the seat in front of him, yelling "don't want plane" over and over.  I just couldn't bring him back down.  So as you can imagine our fellow passengers on the plane began turning around and giving that "control you child" look because they wanted to enjoy their flight.  I couldn't control him.  I tried to have him watch a movie, didn't work.  Play with new toys, didn't work. Play with my phone, didn't work.  I tried everything.  When we hit the ground at our final destination I was relieved that it was over.  I made it through.

We went on to enjoy the week away... no flaws, fights, or anything.

Then it was time to pack up and leave.  The anxiety sets in.  Did we really have to do this again???? Our flights were later this time so we had our fingers crossed that lil man would be tired.  You think he was??  Nope.  This time though to HIS bag of tricks he added cold cock punches to his fit.  Man, I must be missing something here on this parenting gig if i cannot get him to calm down.  This flight was filled with death stares, punches to the face, flight attendants bringing treats to make him happy, and 2 very tired parents.

After the last flight, my husband and I were spent.  My in laws came to pick us up and as they hugged me hello I lost it.... tears came flying out of my face.  I couldn't hide it or explain it to them.  The overwhelming emotions and feelings I had were indescribable.  They must have thought I was a crazy person.

I did make it out alive (with some bruises).  I do want to know if there are any other mom's out there that have had similar situations and/or have any solutions that have worked well for their "wild" child on a plane??

So little time to be Supermom

Working Full time is great when you want to help provide for your family.  I personally thought that I would never work when I was a mother but desperate times call for desperate measures, or so im told.  I envisioned myself in an apron cooking a delicious wholesome meal for my family… not scrambling around last minute searching for something somewhat healthy to whip up after work.  By the time I'm done though I am ready for a glass of wine! 

I know I am not alone with these feelings as we all like to enjoy certian lifestlyes but at what cost?  I debate this daily.  You?

Being the wife I always thought I would be… or so I thought.

As a little girl we were taught to play with dolls, care for a doll house and cook fake food, it was called “playing house”.  You could take care of your little dolls the way you would your child and make them dinner and clean the house, etc.  As you grow up, you aspire to model these behaviors that were set upon us as youngsters.  Fast forward to the future, current day, working full time, out of the house, to help pay the bills, child in daycare away from you, house is a mess on a pretty regular basis and dinner is NEVER ready when we get home.  Ugh.  It’s time for a reexamination of how to be Mommy efficient.  Here's the plan... Prep meals on the weekend to have each day during the week.  As laundry piles up during the week, wash it asap instead of leaving it for a whole weekend days activity.  Clean at night it’s the only time to do so when others in the house are not moving around messing things up behind you.

There should be a manual in this thing we call life. Don't you think?