By no means am I an expert at dealing with the curve balls that life throws at you but I was talking with a couple friends about this and it got me to thinking.
Many of my friends, working and non working, will relax with a glass of wine, or some of them smoke. I often see Facebook posts of women frustrated/exhausted with all of the things going on in their world and I wonder what it is that gets them past their frustrations. How do they cope? Is it with wine, knitting, gardening, writing, verbal diarrhea to a friend, sex? Its easy to get through life if you have good healthy coping mechanisms. It also helps if those same mechanisms stick around all your life.
I am Irish and have always shut down verbally (unless forced :)) when things are not going my way. It is difficult for me to discuss things. So to "cope" with this personality flaw, I have always coped with wine and writing out problems. If things get out of control and I just need to escape and relax I go and grab a glass of wine and sit with a journal or piece of paper. Now not in a raging alcoholic kinda way at all... just as a way to stop, sit and relax, escape or think about the situations at hand. It a way it helps me regroup.
What are some of the things you do when things get tough or do not go your way?? How do you cope?
Well, as you know Kimmy I am quite the talker so I would say that my biggest coping mechanism is to process things outloud, with my husband or a friend I trust. I find a lot of relief getting it out there and getting validation first, and then being open to problem solving from them. What has also been a big gift to give to myself is self-validation. If I am having trouble with something I don't judge it---I just give myself permission to feel instead of being mean to myself on top of it.
ReplyDeleteI also in the past year got into meditation and that has been a HUGE source of strength for me as a coping skill. It's amazing what some abdominal breathing and being present in the moment can do to get some mental space from whatever is taking over and I can practice it anywhere-anytime. Lastly, what I try to do for my general well-being and coping is to get outside to play at least 1 time a week--if that's a walk with the pooches, taking a hike, gardening, whatever just to reconnect with nature...